I have SO much to update. I’m sorry for the delay. I have lots of excuses, but they’re not as entertaining as my stories.
1. Crazy lady in DEN security line.
So a few weeks ago, I was behind a lady in the security line at the Denver airport. She takes out her quart-size ziplock baggie and puts in the bin.
Security lady (SL) - “Sorry maam, one of these bottles is 5 oz…that’s over the limit”.
Passenger lady (PL) - “yeah but there is barely any liquid left…definitely under the limit”.
SL - “sorry…can’t take it…that’s the rule. You can go check it…or you can throw the whole bottle out”.
PL - FREAKS OUT. She takes her bottles (I couldn’t tell what exactly it was…but I think it was face wash, or face lotion or something). She squirts it all over the security lady, then THROWS THE BOTTLE at her.
SL – maam…I’m going to have to ask you to step aside.
PL – “I fly ALL THE TIME….i should have priority!!!” (meanwhile, she is waving around her boarding pass with a huge “boarding group 4” printed on it. Um….step off you must not fly ALL the time little lady….
Anyway – after she got interrogated (for like 2 mins), they let her go! Can you believe they let her travel after that outburst! Totally insane. My parents were aghast….as was i. I mean I’ve seen temper tantrums, but not by middle aged women. It was awesome (if not a little embarrassing)
(Jac – this totally reminds me of the “I HAVE FORTY THOUSAND MILES!!!!!” girl. Hahaha)
2. My Crazy Crazy Crazy Work
I am not going into details bc I don’t want to get fired…but I work for serious lunatics. Not my bosses so much, but the client is totally crazy. I am currently listening to the tail end of a 14-hour conference call (my 2nd in two days….needless to say I have gotten NO work done….so I’m way behind). I have another 7am-9pm call tomorrow…and Thursday…and Friday. Please please please don’t be jealous. Anyway – this woman I work for says the most INSANE comments you have ever heard. She’s a loony. I fear for my life on a daily basis. And I’m not kidding. I’ve had to go to our client partner to discuss this a few times now. She alone is driving me to the point of near-quitting. I wish I could post an audioclip of her ranting on this call right now….Anyway...Jackie is a MAJOR doll and is en-route to my hotel in the middle of nowhere Delaware with a bottle of wine. She is SUCH a great same-sex non-lesbian date!
3. Weekend in Chicago
After training all of last week, was in Chicago last weekend with Cara and Karee and Loren. It was so fun…K&L’s new place is awesome and I want to move in. But preferably not into the room where you get locked in/out every time the door closes. J We had some fabulous meals, a lot of delicious cheese (the trip to the cheese shop included some hilarious comments from the cheese dude, a ‘checking-out’ by the wine guy, and more). We tried to watch ‘click’ on dvd…but it was AWFUL. Although, I am pretty sick, so I may have just been too sick/tired to stay awake…and it wasn’t actually boredom. But I’m pretty sure it was. Anyway – I was supposed to be working from home this week…but got a call last minute that I was needed in Delaware instead…so here I am.
4. Air puffer security machines
I want one. Does anyone know where I can get one? It feels so good – like an air massage? I would totally buy this….ebay? I feel Benet would be my inside source on this one....
5. ANTM
Please tell me that someone who reads this (granted, I have very few readers) is a fan of “Americas next top model”. It’s totally genius. I mean it’s the 8th season, so basically these girls aren’t even attractive anymore…they’re just crazy. Even my 17 year old brother thinks its funny…and he has a very mature sense of humor (uhhh…hahah). Anyway – I highly recommend it. You will die when you see how seriously Tyra (who seriously thinks she is Oprah reborn) takes herself. Anyway – you will thank me. It’s pure comedy.
6. Mom & daughter ORD Adventure
So in Chicago last weekend I had to fly out of O’Hare…since Cara’s flight was about an hour before mine…I had some time to kill. Anyway – I went to Chili’s and had some nachos (so much for my diet...but the nachos at Chili's are made with their awesome queso dip...and you know i can't resist that stuff) and met a mother/daughter next to me. They had been on standby flights all day and were killing time by having a margarita at every bar in O’Hare and comparing. Hahahaha. I can't imagine how many bars are in O'Hare, but i'm going to venture to guess that it's more than 20. This was the most genius thing I’d heard in a while and I loved it. Mom/Katy….do you want to do this for our next mom/daughter weekend? It would be fun…although wine is usually pretty fun on its own!!!
Next time….I’m going to post some trivia. Because I love trivia and haven’t gotten to share my love with you all yet. Get ready!!!!!!!
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3 comments:
OK, this is too funny. I just happen to be in Ottawa at a Canadian airports conference. I've seen the puffer machines, but have never been through one -- until today. GE had one on display in the exhibit hall. They could make a mint marketing them as stand-up massage machines!!
Endless, you can buy one from GE (they bring good things to life) for about $3 million. It's really sad that I'm even able to answer this question for you. But this is why they pay me the big bucks!! LOL
As for the lady in Denver, it depends on where you choose to act up. Some airports are a lot less tolerant, like Washington National or Hartsfield-Jackson.
In re: ANTM. I haven't been watching since Shandi had s-e-x with a forbidden Italian, probably because that was as good as it could get and the show had no way to go but down.
However, Miss Tyra was on Good Morning America today talking about her new "So What" campaign about women and body issues, and she indeed takes herself very seriously. I kind of love her, though.
I like Top Model, but I think Tyra is a bit of a hypocrite. On the Trya Banks Show, she's all about women empowerment, being happy with yourself, bla, bla, bla. But on Top Model, she turns into this shrieking harpy bitch totally obsessed with the models' appearance. Quite the contradiction, I think.
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